So, here's the thing! Its been ages since my last blog, so I thought I'd cobble something together today. What's been happening? I'm glad you asked my that, Toady. Not a lot really. I suppose everybody goes on holiday round about now before the school summer break begins, and all the holiday resorts are overrun with unmanageable screaming kids and parents get drunk in the bar! Well, enough about my family!
I did do something though! Well, apart from publishing The Breath of Life (which is currently No.1 in Police Procedurals and No.55 in the Top 100 BTW, Toady!) and getting a 20,000-word foothold in Parish & Richards 7 The Dead Know Not (which is due out in mid-August), I wrote a Foreword - say what? Well look, some people write non-fiction books, you know. This one is called How To Write Dialogue and its being thrown together by Matt Posner - Of course you know him, Toady. He's that American fella who sings, dances, and plays some percussion instruments with The Exploration Project. A teacher of some renown. Well, a crazy teacher I suppose, if he teaches in America! Anyway, he's also written some books - magic books to be precise. No, not about how to do magic, Toady. Well, maybe there's some hints in the books, but... All right, maybe I wasn't being that precise. Look, do you want to hear this, or not? Sometimes you can be a real pain in the... I wasn't going to say any naughty words.
I did something else as well! Yes, I'm going to tell you what. I tried to join one of the top writer's associations. I say, "tried" because they wouldn't let me in. Don't smile like that, Toady. It wasn't because I come from the wrong side of the tracks - does that actually mean anything anymore? It wasn't because I'm a bit overweight and fart at the drop of a hat - all right, a lot overweight - you drive a hard bargain, Toady - seriously obsese then! It wasn't because I didn't know the secret handshake... Yes, all right, I'll tell you. Readers like a bit of suspense, mystery, and... It was because I was self-published!!
I know, that's as bad as someone using two exclamation marks!! So, I wrote to them, said I'd written a lot of novels, sold a quarter of a million books (well nearly), and my latest attempt at writing was in the Top 100, but they said, "Rules is rules"!! You have to have been published through a publishing company, have a contract, be paying most of your earnings to publishing people - that's just the way it is!! I said, you're rules are bit outdated. There are self-published people out there who have sold a million books!! I could hear them shrugging their shoulders and the key turning in the lock. Some doors are still closed to self-published authors!!
Hi, I'm Tim Ellis - I write a lot and I hope you enjoy what I write.