So, here's the thing! A triple dose of Parish & Richards: Conjeries of the Dead, all proofread and shiny new - what more could you want for Christmas? What, it's not Christmas! Peeks through curtains - ye Gods sunshine! But hey, you can never be too early for Christmas shopping!
And anyway, it's the holiday season - mind you, every day is a holiday for me! Being retired is something I can recommend!
So, I thought I'd bundle up my Parish & Richards books. Well, first I thought I'd get them all proofread after a slack handful of complaints about the typos etc. Those typos get everywhere! You can be staring at a typo for half an hour and still not notice it! That done, I compiled my first conjeries, and put it out there.
Can you imagine! You managed to get up early enough to snaffle a sunbed from those Germins - I know, you probably didn't even go to sleep! Those Germins wander around the pool at all hours of the night claiming sunbeds in the name of vorsprung technologie!
So anyway, you're lying there in your Union Jack bikini, or is that a mankini? My wife wants me to get one, you know! So I said to her that even though I've got a body of a Greek God, I'm still 59 for goodness sake. There's a few wrinkles showing and grey hairs sprouting, so I said I'd pass on the mankini thing if it was all the same to her. I could see she was hugely disappointed - Well, who could blame her!
Anyway, you're on your sunbed, it's 40 degrees, the umbrella is strategically positioned so that you don't actually get any sun, you've got your florescent beach towel covering the tops of your feet because they're looking a bit red, a Bahamas Mama cocktail with a sparkler and a little flag in it is sitting on the table next to you, the pool is an inviting green, and you have three full-length addictive books in a conjeries on your Kindle - What do you do?
You get your Happy Hippo lilo out, put it in the pool, scramble on it with great aplomb and balance using your well-developed cheek muscles, grab your cocktail with one hand, and your Kindle with the other, and... Well, that's the thing, isn't it? You can read a Kindle with one hand! The joys of modern living. eh!
But that's not all. Oh no, not by a long walk off a short pier. As soon as I finish 'The Breath of Life' (Parish & Richards 6) in three weeks time, I'll be publishing my second conjeries, which will include The Shadow of Death, His Wrath is Come, and The Breath of Life. I've also got a third conjeries in the pipeline, which will include the four Quigg books once the middle two have been proofread: The Twelve Murders of Christmas (as a bonus), Body 13, The Graves at Angel Brook, and The Skulls Beneath Eternity Wharf - Christmas has come early!
And another thing! Have I told you about 'The Dead Know Not'? Of course I haven't, because I've only just thought of it! Parish & Richards 7 if you were wondering. No, it ain't been written yet, but I like to have a title and a cover to start with. Army training, you see! Everything has to be squared-off, the corners like razor blades, no creases or loose ends - ahhh, doesn't it warm your cockles? Anyway, I think I've waffled on about nothing for long enough - what do you think, Toady? Did I see your lips move then?
Hi, I'm Tim Ellis - I write a lot and I hope you enjoy what I write.