Here's the thing! Remember that Smash advert? The one where Martians laughed at humans peeling poatoes? (It's amazing what you can find on YouTube - check out the short video below and have a laugh!) Well, you can imagine those little tin aliens laughing at the way we use our language now. I read in a post recently, "I'd like to be liked!". I mean, wouldn't we all? But to go around asking people to 'like' you is a bit desperate, wouldn't you say? What they're really asking for, of course, is that you press their button! Ha! I've had people pressing my button since I was knee-high to a grasshopper!
Anyway, I popped along to RedAdeptReviews for my monthly inspection, and do you know what? They're closed! The door was shut, the 'Closed' sign was up, the lock was locked, and the bolts were bolted! Don't send them anymore books because they've got a 900 booklog - 900 books! That's like saying I'll never see the light of day again! Someone threw me in this basement and stole the steps - HELP! Good luck with those RedAdept!
So, I suppose you want me to talk about Indie Book Review sites? I'm not going to - can't be bothered! I'm sure there are more scintillating things to talk about other than Indie Book Review sites - like me for instance! You know, when I write I start with a title, or a character, or a situation and then go from there. I don't plan, I have no idea where I'm going. I write a scene and focus on dialogue first - I'm a dialogue person - and then I go back and add description, internal dialogue, check times, facts, locations, do some forewarning, until I'm happy with the scene - this, apparently, is called 'layering' - adding layers, which is a good anology for what I do. I re-read it, picture everything in my head - the characters in the location, what they're wearing, making sure their behaviour is consistent with who they are, have them moving around purposefully, checking that their dialogue matches their personality. Then I move on to the next scene and do the same again. I construct my book scene-by-scene. Maybe I'm a builder instead of a writer, which reminds me of that Star Trek Voyager episode called 'Prototype' when B'Elanna Torres (no, not the footballer who can't score for Liverpool or Chelsea) retrieves a robot floating in space and re-activates it, and then it goes downhill from there because the robot has been programmed to kill the builders - uh oh!
Did I ever tell you I received my first rejection letter at 15/16 years of age? I was a right weird kid, I used to listen to Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, The Beatles, David Bowie, and The Rolling Stones, there was also some Pink Floyd, Black Sabbath, and other stuff I'd prefer not to mention like Lulu, The Love Affair (Everlasting Love - see below), Gary Puckett & the Union Gap (Young Girl - see below)! I could fill up the Weebly server with brilliant songs from my youth.
Ha! Here's a thing... A bunch of us got together (Neds, Fletch, Pete Croft, Stevie Barker, Chris Brown, and Andy Keeble) - we must have been about 14/15. We called ourselves 'The Gang', hung about the park with some girls, and went round stealing apples - we were hard! Anyway, we started a group! Trouble was, my guitar had a couple of strings missing and I couldn't play any chords anyway. Also, I'm tone deaf and couldn't sing any notes in tune. We practised in my front garden playing and singing 'Mony Mony' by Tommy James & the Shondells (see below). The neighbours threatened to call the police if we didn't stop making a damned racket! That was the end of my music career! I look back at some of the stupid things we did and cringe with embarrassment! Oh, there were some girls associated with those songs - I used to fall in love at the drop of a hat! There was Michelle with Everlasting Love, Joyce who had a thing for Andy Fairweather Low of Amen Corner (see below)... I can't remember their names now, but I loved them all.
So anyway, I was talking about this rejection letter I recieved from a publisher before you distracted me with a trip down memory lane! It was for a collection of my poems a'la Leonard Cohen and Bob Dylan. And I wrote about the Purple Rain long before Prince ever did! I've still got them, somewhere, went into the garage to dig them out yesterday so that I could give you a taste of my poetry skills when I was 16 years of age. Sadly, you'll be glad to know, I can't find a damned thing in my garage - its full of books! So, maybe next time! Something to look forward to, keep you on the edge of your seats, waiting, anticipation...
Hi, I'm Tim Ellis - I write a lot and I hope you enjoy what I write.