So, here's the thing! I have a new opportunity for someone who likes to live dangerously, push the envelope, teeter on the edge, balance on the rim . . . Anyway, I'm surprised no one has come up with the idea of a loaf of crusts! I don't know if you've peeked inside a loaf of bread lately, but it only has two crusts - one at either end! I know, how mean is that?
Let me elaborate - I like to have two pieces of brown bread in the morning, but here's my dilemma - once I've eaten the first crust I have to wait nearly two weeks before I can have another one. Of course, I cheat a lot. Well, you'd expect it of me, wouldn't you? I give some of the middle slices to the birds - In fact, the birds where I live can hardly fly and because of all the roughage they eat, and they go to the toilet regularly as well. Also, I squeeze my hand over the last few slices and eat the second crust early - desperate times need desperate measures. Or as my wife is fond of saying, "Monkey see, monkey do!"
So, what I'm saying is that someone should start a business selling "Sliced Crusts"! I can't be the only one who is a crust addict. My wife doesn't like crusts, which is probably a good job for her. Anyone who thinks they can steal my crusts and live to tell the tale needs their head examining.
So, we have people who like crusts and people who don't like crusts - the answer seems obvious to me - sell loaves of sliced crusts and loaves of sliced bread. Now, the mechanics involved in this chicanery require a calculator and a waste bin. Let's work on a figure of 20 - can you imagine the joy of having two crusts every morning for ten days? I mean, that would be like having a birthday every day of the week. So, snaffle the crusts from 9 loaves, put the slices from those loaves in the other loaves, and anything left give to the birds, homeless shelters and so on.
Now, I'm not setting a precedent here. Oh no! Let me take you back a few years and whisper the name "SPOG" in your lughole. You've never heard of it! Gott in Himmel! Where have been? Open a bag of Liquorice Allsorts and those liquorice jelly sweets are just the best - Well, someone had the bright idea of selling them separately, because people loved 'em - I loved 'em! And then there was those green triangular chocolates from Quality Street, so you wouldn't be alone in your endeavours. You might even do some market research first to see if there are more people out there like me - I bet there are! I bet the truth is out there!
Now, you're probably wondering why I don't run with it, shoot the rapids, patent the whole concept and pitch it to the bread industry. Well, I'm writing! Hey, that's what I do. I'm not a bread entrepreneur. My days of tottering on the abyss are long gone - I do a lot of tottering, but I stay clear of the abyss because you never know what might crawl out and grab you! And talking of writing, I'm over half-way through the next Parish & Richards - Number 10: 'Through a Glass Darkly', which is due out during the last week of July. Hey, that's this month - gotta go, I've a book to finish! Love ya, hugs and kisses, blah!
Hi, I'm Tim Ellis - I write a lot and I hope you enjoy what I write.