So, here's the thing. I got an email a while ago from Rick Murcer - yeah, he's the nabob who writes those moon books - Caribbean Moon, Emerald Moon, and hey you get offa my moon - you know the stuff. Anyway, he said, "We're scraping the barrel, but do you want to write a little yarn about murder in the sun - a bit like the usual rubbish you write - for inclusion in an anthology?"
"I'm flattered," I said.
"Yeah well, we wouldn't normally have asked you because you're a Brit, and us Americans can hardly make sense of what you say, never mind what you write, but a couple of really great writers have dropped out, and somebody knew somebody's aunt's friend who had mentioned your name in a homeless shelter."
"Hey, I'll try and make it legible - Americanize it, so to speak."
"Okay, well we'll give it a go, see what you come up with. You'll be competing with the likes of Dani Amore, Traci Hohenstein, Lawrence Kelter, Rebecca Stroud, Gary Ponzo, and of course, me - and we're all celebrities. So, it had better be a good story - don't want you lowering the tone of our anthology."
"I don't know what to say - great writers and superstars all. And, of course, you're my hero, Rick. I'll write the very best story I possible can."
"Well, give it your best shot. Think of yourself as Rocky..."
"Balboa... This is your shot at the title kid! We like to give half-decent writers a leg up - be philanthropic now that we're all heavyweights."
So, that's how the conversation panned out. I got busy and writ the very best story I could... It's about murder, it's about... Well, I suppose if you're gonna buy the book when it's published around 1st June so that you can read the stories all those other panjandrums have writ then you'll stumble over my little yarn - I hope you like it, and I hope I don't let those other megastars down!
Hi, I'm Tim Ellis - I write a lot and I hope you enjoy what I write.