So, here's the thing! I don't want to go down the route of chasing my ancestors round the mulberry bush - family history (tree) to the uinitiated! My mum spent hours and hours and some loose change on finding out about our ancestors. Now, I don't want to brag, but my dad told us when we were still sprogs in short pants and woolly vests that we could trace our lineage directly back to David the One-Eye - a famous Welsh Warrior King (Ellis is a Welsh name by the way) - and I have no reason to disbelieve him!
Also, we have our own coat of arms, you know! So, you can call me, "My Lord," and I'll call you... Toady, okay? Now, don't ask me what that half-naked female is doing popping out of the top of my helmet because I have no idea, but she looks vaguely familiar! And the Latin phrase is from Virgil's Aeneid Book II and means Good looking and witty! Ha! Not really, but it could be because I am. It means Not without the divine will of the gods! Yeah, I know, doesn't mean much to me either, Toady, but there it is - like it or lump it. Doesn't change your position or mine. I'm still Sir Tim, and you're still Toady!
So, I've got copies of pictures of my mum's mum and dad, (George & Henrietta Sandland - good old English names!) which you are now looking at below, because I've just scanned them in. The thing is, when I was younger I was the spitting image of my grandfather, an example of genes skipping a generation. Now, here's the thing... My mum's dad wasn't an Ellis! So, I don't know how my mum - as a commoner - got to marry Welsh royalty, but what it means is that the genetic pool has been diluted. It also means that the Ellis family are not inbred like most royal families! In fact, its just occurred to me that - being the eldest son - I could be the heir to the Welsh throne! King Tim - it has a certain ring to it, don't you agree, Toady?'
I've been away and come back - these blogs don't write themselves, you know! Anyway, I had a quick look at my position in the bestsellers charts - as people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) do - and found A Life for a Life at number 25 (its a shifting thing - yesterday I was at 18, now I'm at 17!) in Bestsellers in Police Procedurals, but that's not why I mention it. My book is wedged between Lazybones by Mark Billingham and Blindsighted by Karin Slaughter, both of whom are traditionally published and authors whom I read. How awesome is that? One could argue, as one might, that one is an author! How spooky is that? Next, people will be telling me that someone has actually read one of my books all the way through to the end. Now, that would be spooky! So, books are selling well here in the good old UK, USA is patchy, and as for Deutschland - what's that all about? The people who live in Germany obviously can't read because they haven't downloaded one of my books yet - pah! They don't know what they're missing! Maybe I should make it clear that my books have been written by a King - jump on the celebrity bandwagon, hey Toady!
Oh! Update. Got an email from the stunningly beautiful Elizabeth at TheFrugaleReader saying that my book was being featured. Maybe she'd heard I was a King. You see, that's what happens when people find out you're royalty, Toady, they want to do things for you, get on your good side, stroke your ego and other things... Anyway, my sales in the US went through the roof - Well, not really, but they did surge (that's a thrusting word, isn't it?)
So Toady, let's take a detour to the Isle of White Festivals of 1969 and 1970. You weren't there. OMG! And I thought everyone was there. I went with Neds and Fletch to one of them, but I'm not sure who I went with to the other one - memories begin to smudge, intermingle, and generally splodge into one. Thankfully, they've got written records, photos, and youtube videos, etc., so that wrinkly people who can't remember their own name - yours truly - can reflect and remember how old they are. Well, it was 1969/1970, and that's 42/41 years ago for goodness sake, so that makes me... See the photo below - I was there, I remember the naked females! Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a pervert or a voyeur or anything like that, but when two beautiful women take their clothes off in front of you, well... you'd be a pillar of salt not to look, so yes I have to admit... I was there.
So, we were lying in this field in front of the stage, and we were starving and thirsty because we'd eaten the sugar butties we'd brought with us on the ferry over. I remember drinking sour milk, but that wasn't the worst of it! I had a hole in one of my teeth and I could taste this sour milk forever afterwards - yuk! One day, I was asleep, and my two mates decided to try some drugs they got offered! Laugh - I nearly wet myself. Something that was meant to be smoked they chewed and ended up with sore throats! Hey, we were hippies of the world, we knew all about drugs, free sex, and flowers!
The list of artists that performed over the four days in 1970 is detailed below. The ones I remember are: Kris Kristofferson, Black Widow, Procul Harum, Joni Mitchell, Tiny Tim, Ten Years After, ELP, The Doors, The Who, Free, Donovan, Moody Blues, Jethro Tull, Jimi Hendrix, Joan Bez, Leonard Cohen, and Richie Havens. It was just the best time ever. One of the most enduring memories was Tiny Tim singing Tiptoe Through the Tulips!
Here's a list of artists: Wednesday 26th: Judas Jump, Kathy Smith, Rosalie Sorrels, David Bromberg, Redbone, Kris Kristofferson, Mighty Baby. Thursday 27th: Gary Farr, Supertramp, Andy Roberts Everyone, Howl, Black Widow, Groundhogs, Terry Reid, Gilberto Gil. Friday 28th: Fairfield Parlour, Arrival, Lighthouse, Taste, Tony Joe White, Chicago, Family, Procol Harum, The Voices of East Harlem, Cactus. Saturday 29th: John Sebastian, Shawn Phillips, Lighthouse, Joni Mitchell, Tiny Tim, Miles Davis, Ten Years After, Emerson Lake and Palmer, The Doors, The Who, Melanie, Sly and the Family Stone. Sunday 30th: Good News, Kris Kristofferson, Ralph McTell, Heaven, Free, Donovan, Pentangle, Moody Blues, Jethro Tull, Jimi Hendrix, Joan Baez, Leonard Cohen, Richie Havens, Hawkwind.
List of artists from the 1969 festival: The Band, Blodwyn Pig, Blonde On Blonde, Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band, Edgar Broughton Band, Joe Cocker, Aynsley Dunbar, Bob Dylan, Eclection, Fat Mattress, Family, Gary Farr, Judas Jump, Julie Felix, Free, Gypsy, Richie Havens, Marsha Hunt And White Trash, Indo Jazz Fusions, The Liverpool Scene, Mighty Baby, The Moody Blues, The Nice, Tom Paxton, Pentangle, Pretty Things, Third Ear Band, The Who. With memories like these I can die a happy man. Not that I'm on the way out you understand, but hell - those were the days!
I had long blonde hair in those days, a job that paid next to nothing, and my mate Neds had a Mini with a hole in the floor, so that when it rained your feet got wet. I remember going out with a girl (I went out with a few actually), but this one wore short angorra jumpers that revealed her midriff - sexy or what! Anyway, time to go I suppose. I'll leave you with a not very good Bob Dylan, but even drugged up to the eyeballs he could sing better than me!
Hi, I'm Tim Ellis - I write a lot and I hope you enjoy what I write.