My books are selling in the millions - well all right, the thousands - you drive a hard bargain Toady - the hundreds then, but I'm not going lower than that! I mean, A Life for a Life has sold over 30,000 copies. Now, if I'm not mistaken, that's pretty damned good for someone who left school at 4¾ under a dark ominous cloud when hell was beginning to freeze over. The Wages of Sin - over 16,000 copies, The Flesh is Weak - over 10,000 copies, and the fourth in the series, The Shadow of Death (Published 3 weeks ago) - over 5,000 copies, and my other crime novels are bubbling away just outside the Top 100 - Hey, I have a lot of time on my hands, don'tcha know!
Now, not only but also, the majority of people seem to like my stories in terms of characters, writing style, suspense, plot, and have I mentioned my good looks? Oh, there are some mean people - aren't there always - who don't like what I write, but I'm pleased to say they are in the minority - they say some nasty things though!
Anyway, I'm now famous in my own back garden, and since this interview I've had two phone calls. One from a woman I used to work with when I was counting beans - she was really pleased I was doing well - It was lovely of her to phone. A second phone call came from a traditionally published mid-list author who had been dropped by his agent/publisher. He wanted to know how to e-publish his books, so I told him. Well, let's face it, its hardly Top Secret, is it Toady? Also, I had someone leave a message on my Facebook Fan Page saying I was an inspiration! Now steady on, there's no need to call people names. I mean, it's not as if I'm Stephen King, or Ray Bradbury, or anyone really famous, is it Toady? In fact, you're more famous than I am, Toady.
'Oh yes, I've had emails about you.'
'They wanted to know if you were real, what you looked like, whether you were single.'
'I told them that it was me talking to myself.'
'You didn't? They'll think you're a crazy person.'
'I am a crazy person, Toady don'tcha know - I'm a writer aren't I?'