My mum used to say that I had no patience, and she was right. She died last year, but hey - no problem - she had a good innings (that's her with my dad in the photo - must be about 1950). She used to ring me up (before she died, stupid), and I'd answer the phone by saying, 'Are you stalking me?' (I have a loud speaker on my phone so I know who's calling before I pick up - often, my wife and I don't bother picking up because we don't like a whole lot of people). My mum and I had a good laugh and I miss her phone calls. Being a wife and mother (or a husband and father for that matter) was different in those days. Now, if you don't like the man (or woman) you've just agreed to spend the rest of your life with, you just walk away. My mum stayed with my dad through thick and thin, and believe me there was a lot of thin! The sanctity of marriage ain't what it used to be. Our new throw-away society extends to wives, husbands, and children as well!
So, a few years ago, my wife and I went to Mexico for a holiday, and stayed in a lovely five-star hotel. Now, we don't usually sign up to organised trips and the like because, 1) We don't like other people (as I've said before, but you still keep coming round) - which reminds me of our honeymoon. We went to the old part of Tenerife (Peurto de la Cruz I think) in 1977 (yeah I know - before some of you were even born!), and stayed in a nice hotel (except the showers were freezing cold most of the time). We did a lot of... well, lazing about by the pool, sightseeing, you know the type of things honeymooners do - Well, we kept getting lumbered with this fat smelly guy that we called Sloan (there was a reason we called him that, but I can't think what it was now!). I mean, two honeymooners in love and this fat smelly guy wants to spend time with us! You can imagine my response? Polite didn't work, so in the end I had to be fairly forthright, as one does in extreme circumstances.
Where was I? Oh yes - organised trips, 2) They're usually a rip off; 3) They take you away from the bar and the pool. Anyway, to cut a short story long, we decided to go on an organised trip. First, they took us to this underground tunnel system (well the cave opening thereof) and we swam inside this dark cave. You're thinking - wow really exciting - snore! No, you're missing the point - it was the start of a tunnel that went from where we were (miles inland) to the coast. Divers had explored this tunnel filled with water, needed a couple of changes of air tanks, but eventually made it to the coast through this tunnel system! Scary or what! You gotta admire people who do something like that! When we were treading water (and before the wife started panicking because she thought she was gonna drown and the water kept lapping over her mouth) when you dived down there was a rope path underwater that led into the tunnel, something that later divers just followed.
So, how on earth did we begin traipsing through the Mexican jungle when I wanted to talk about my sales? Oh, I forgot to tell you about the Mayan ruins in Quintano Roo, at Tulum - the Walled City. We had a wander round there as part of our trip - that's me on the alter, I'm the human sacrifice to the God of Wind Ehécatl! Anyway, got to go! Maybe I'll talk about my sales next time if I've still got a heart! Have a nice day, y'all!